The Meaning of Loneliness
by baka-m3-l33t
Summary: Naruto is torn down by his team and a few friends, and decides he's had it. In the course of events that follow, there is pain, sadness, and maybe... romance? M for small amount of cussing and violence. NejiNaru and slight SasuNaru, Warning: Yaoi
1. The Trials Begin

_I'm very new at writing, but I wanted to get some of my ideas out here. This is only my second story I put up here, and my first multi-chapter one. Wish me luck, and review if you wish. Flamers will be mocked, so keep that in mind. Suggestions I would gratefully appreciate. Well, wish me luck and happy reading! waves_

_baka-m3-l33t_

**_The Meaning of Loneliness Ch. 1: The Trials Begin_  
**

Bright sunlight woke up a blond, blue-eyed beauty by the name of Uzumaki Naruto. As it shined on his face, he began to squirm. Slowly he opened his eyes and flinched at the bright sunlight shining throughout the room.

'Damn, I forgot to close the blinds!'

He wondered why he woke up so late, but then flinched and buried his face in his pillow. His team was meeting today, but he wasn't going to show up. It's not like they would care anyways. They made that patently clear the day before.

**_Flashback_**

It was another normal day of the week. The sun was shining, the village was thriving, and Team 7 was bored almost to tears while waiting for they're Sensei. And, as usual, Naruto couldn't stand the quiet.

"I'm **_bored_**!"

"SHUT UP Naruto! I can't stand you whining anymore! Isn't it annoying Sasuke-kun?"

And instead of his customary answer of "Hn." He actually agreed with her. Well, Naruto was hurt, but kept on smiling. At the same moment, Kakashi showed up.

_Poof!_

"Yo! I had to help a little old lady cross the street, and took her bag of groceries home for her…"

"LIAR!" Was heard, before they got down to business.

"Well, today I'm going to work with you one on one. I'll tell you a major weakness, and then you may go home. Sakura, you're up first."

Sakura got into her battle stance and fought the best she could. After she was out of breath, Kakashi told her she needed to work on speed and strength, for she was severely lacking in those areas. As she finished, it was time for lunch, so everyone sat down to eat their meal. As Naruto was slurping up his lunch, Sakura started in on him.

"Why can't you eat any quieter! You have no manners, and it's sickening! That's probably because of being a demon, isn't it! Foul disgraceful thing, and you actually think we want to train with you!"

At Naruto's puzzled expression, Sasuke said in a hateful voice, "We finally heard about it yesterday." He spit out. Kakashi didn't say a word, but you could tell he was listening. Sakura left right after lunch, and Sasuke was tested and found he needs more endurance with his sheringan. After that, Sasuke wandered off, and as Naruto looked up to get his chance, but saw Kakashi glaring at him. He finally said in a distant voice, "Bye." and poofed out of existence. Naruto slowly got to his feet and walked home, ignoring the insults and jeers thrown his way. Later that evening he got a call from Neji asking if he was all right.

"Why would you ask that?" He asked, putting on his mask of happiness.

"You looked dejected walking home."

"Oh, well everything's fine." Neji looked at him for a while and then sauntered off.

'I wonder what that was about. Neji never talks to me…'

After that he decided to go to bed, and cried himself to sleep.

**_End Flashback_**

Naruto decided to go back to sleep, so he just rolled over and placed his pillow over his head.


	2. Rendering Tearful

_I hope to get more reviews for this. I now can take anonymous reviews, since I figured that out. I really enjoyed and was happy with the one review I have gotten so far! I agree, and will prolly add a little SasuNaru on the side for jealousy's sake. laughs and winks I hope you enjoy the second chapter! Ja!_**  
**

**The Meaning of Loneliness Ch. 2**

Naruto woke up again around 12:30 and got up, grabbed some clothes and took a shower. Once he was done, he grabbed his weapons holster, and left for his own training spot. On the way he met up with Ino.

"What are **_you_** doing out here! How can you show your face in the village! You piece of shit!" Ino said scathingly as she glared at him through a scowl.

"Uhmmm… Ino? What's wrong" Naruto replied innocently, even though he was having a hard time hiding his hurt, for he knew of what she was talking about.

"Don't give me that. You know what I'm talking about. You're a **_demon_**! And not just that! To add insult to injury, you have to be the WORST possible kind, too! You're the fucking **_KYUUBI!"_**

Naruto winced. 'So it's gotten around what's inside me. And again, they think I'm it, and not myself. _God Damn it_! I'm getting tired of all this. No one can se that I'm **_me_**. I'm always the **_damned Kyuubi_**.'

"Don't believe everything you hear, for not all of it is truth. But since my presence is so undesirable, I'll just be on my way. I wasn't planning on talking to you anyway."

"DON'T YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON ME! YOU DAMN DEMON" Ino yelled, but in vain, for Naruto was gone.

"Do you know how disgraceful your conduct was there? And you say that **_he's_** loud. You should take a look at yourself before you condemn others." A quiet voice came from behind her.

Ino whirled and started. "Neji! You scared me!"

Neji just stared her down, and then coldly turned on his heal and left to go train, his hair fluttering behind him as he left.

'What was that all about? And how DARE he say that to me! I had every right! It's not like he can _feel_ anything, anyways. He's just a demon.' Ino thought as she turned to go to her team meeting place.

Naruto took a quick detour to check in on his team. When he came upon them, they were in the middle of the training field. Sasuke was practicing with Kakashi with his sheringan activated, while Sakura was hitting a tree with kicks and punches, trying to get stronger. When he saw that they were doing fine and were happy without him, he quickly left, trying not to cry. The tears were embarrassingly close to the surface. He started berating himself for his stupidity in thinking that they might have forgotten or forgiven him. It hurt that they were just fine without him there. He knew that he should be strong and not cry, but he was hurting so much, that he couldn't stop them from coming in torrents down his cheeks. He quickly turned away and fled. He had trained himself in many areas, and he was able to go undetected.

The only thing that caught all three people's attention down on the field was the air thickening with defeat for a few seconds. It was as if some jutsu was cast to make them feel like crap, all at the same time. They all halted, but after checking to make sure everything was fine, they continued training. Sasuke's mind flickered to Naruto for a few seconds, but he pushed the thought aside and kept training. He could take care of himself.

Naruto found his training spot quite quickly and began to beat the post he had put up, and got into his regular workout.

At the same moment, Neji was walking down the street towards his meeting place, with his hands in his pockets, and his eyes looking straight ahead. 'I wonder how Naruto's doing. He didn't seem to be having such a great week. I also wonder what Ino meant by his being a demon. I didn't think his pranks were that bad anymore. I'll have to ask Gai-sensei today before training. Maybe I'll visit Naruto later, too. He seems to need to be cheered up. Since when did I care about how Naruto felt? Oh, yeah. Since I admitted that he changed my life at the chuunin exams, and that I fell in love with him.' He rolled his eyes at that last thought, and proceeded to meet with his team.


	3. They're No Friends Of Mine

_I tried to make this chapter longer, and it was. I'm excited, because we're getting up to the first climatic part! (No, get your minds out of the gutter! No sex, yet!) I hope you guys will like the update, but if not, that's your opinion. Review if you like. I won't get pathetic and plead with you. Uses puppy eyes, laughs and then winks Happy reading!_

_baka-m3-l33t_

_Oh, and since I forgot the last two chapters, here's the disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or anything of the sort. I would love to, but I don't. So instead of writing it (as I would if I owned it), I write fanfics! _

**The Meaning of Loneliness Ch. 3**

Naruto trained until around 6:00 that evening. He was exhausted and just wanted to go home and pass out on his bed. And he would have done just that, but he had to attend a party tonight. Many of his friends were counting on him being there, so he would be. He went straight home, tore off his ripped and bloodied clothes, and went to shower. While he was scrubbing his torn up, aching body, he started to think.

'I wonder what's going to happen tonight at the party. I hope nothing too bad. Last time Kiba got trashed and started singing… shudders I hope there's not a repeat tonight...'

'_Kit, I think you should be careful tonight.'_

'Yo! And why would that be?'

_'I hate to remind you, but remember the way people have been treating you? It might be to a worse degree tonight than you've experienced before.'_

'Shit! I didn't even think of that… Well, if it does, then I'll just leave.'

_'Just be careful, ok?'_

'Yeah, yeah, I will, MOTHER!'

She purred in the back of his mind as he stepped out of the shower, and he laughed at that. He remembered the time he found out that the Nine Tails was a female.

**Flashback**

He was training with Jiraiya at the time, but this time, he was trying to contact the Nine Tails without being tossed off a cliff. As he sat there, he felt something "awaken" in the back of his mind. Then he heard a gruff voice coming from inside of him.

_'What's on your mind, Kit? sighs Why are you bothering me this time?'_

'I was supposed to train in able to be able to talk to you whenever I wished/needed to.'

_'Well, now that you know that you can, can I get some sleep? I was doing well, until a loudmouth decided to wake me up.'_

'Hey! I was told to! I do have one question before I let you go back to sleep. In all the stories, it never told if the Kyuubi was a guy or girl. What are you?'

_'I'm female, of course! Damn dense people waking me up…'_

'Uhhh, well, I'll let you sleep now. Yeah'

After that he was dazed, but came to terms with it quite easily.

**Flashback End**

He went to his closet and instead of pulling out his regular orange jumpsuit, he went to the back, got a pair of black cargoes with straps hanging off, and a tight fitting red shirt, and then proceeded to wear his one valuable piece of clothing: his black trench coat. As he walked out of his house, he closed and locked the door, and then silently continued on his way to the party.

When he got there, he noticed that everyone was already there. He walked up the steps, and into the house. Since no one had yet to notice him, he leaned against a wall and watched what was going on. Sakura was hanging all over Sasuke, with Ino not far off talking to Shino. Well, really it was Ino talking at a silent Shino, but what's the difference? Shikamaru was talking to a gorging Couji, Lee was trying to get Sakura to notice him, while Kiba was talking to a stuttering Hinata with Tenten laughing close by. Neji was standing opposite him, watching the whole thing himself. Naruto gave off a low chuckle because everything was quite amusing to him. Even though it was quiet, everyone seemed to hear it, and turned to look at him.

'Hmmm. It seems like everyone has found out and has created their own conclusions.'

Almost everyone in the room was staring at him with scorn. Surprisingly, the only one that looked normal, and didn't seem to care, was Neji. He just shrugged and continued to watch everyone. As Naruto continued to smile in his usual way, Everyone turned away from him, except Sakura and Ino. They came right up to him and started to scorn him.

"What are YOU doing here. I thought I told you what I though of you yesterday. You shouldn't even come out of that hovel you call home to inflict your presence on the world."

"Sakura is actually right this time. GET OUT! WE DON'T WANT YOU HERE!"

As Naruto Stared at them in the eyes, he just nicely said in a polite voice, "Thanks for the awful evening, ladies. I think I actually will take your suggestion and go home. It beats being at this horrible excuse for a party. Bye!"

And before the girls could yell back, he disappeared. The girls didn't know how he did it, but really didn't care. They then turned back to what they had been doing.

Neji had watched this display from across the room, and didn't like it at all. 'He's not the demon itself, so why are they acting like that? They had no reason to yell at my Naruto-kun like that! After I found out the truth, I didn't think any differently about him, because he's him. Not Kyuubi…' He then turned and began walking to the door.

"Where are you going, Neji-niisan?" People again stopped to stare at him this time.

"Home, because I don't feel like staying at a party that excludes someone for something that's not his fault. Everyone was disgraceful and that attitude was horrendous. I don't want to associate with anyone that will let one of their close friends down like that. Ja."

Everyone was left speechless as they watched him walk across the room and out the door, without looking back once. When the talking resumed again, it was a subdued chatter that lacked excitement.

As Naruto walked home, he thought of everything that had happened to him recently. He didn't feel much like sleeping anymore, so he continued on into the forest to his secret training ground.

_'Kit, you need to get some rest to keep up your strength…'_

'I don't feel much like sleeping. Thanks for caring, though.' After he found out she was female, they started to get along a lot better, and she kind of took him under her wing. Since she had no kids of her own, and wanted them, she made Naruto the kit she would take care of. He hadn't minded one bit.

_'You still need rest, no matter if you feel like it or not. Please?'_

'I'm sorry. I'm too wound up to sleep. Maybe later, though' After he said this, she started to purr to him in the back of his mind, trying to comfort him in her own way.

'Thanks. At least you won't desert me…' He came to his training spot, and started using justsus that were jounin level. He learned how to do them from the Kyuubi, and was pretty good at most of them. He continued into morning, and only slept for a half an hour between 5:00 and 5:30 in the morning. He didn't stop for break, or to drink water. Just continued training. He kept in mind what he had said to the Kyuubi this morning.

_'**At least you won't desert me…'**_

TBC


	4. A Big Fight and Saving Naruto

_Hello again! I went on vacation last week, so I wasn't able to update, but I have now, so everything's good. This chapter has a slight lemon in it, and it is yaoi so if you don't like it, don't read it. I'm also sorry abaout not being able to put in a nice fighting scene in this chapter. I can't write fighting scenes worth crap, and so I did this chapter a little differently. Gomen! I hope to hear from you all again soon! Happy reading!_

_baka-m3-l33t _

**The Meaning of Loneliness Ch. 4**

When the Hokage woke up that morning, she had the feeling that something bad was going to occur today. She had no idea, but it distracted her as she tried to do the mounds of paperwork sent to her for her signature. She knew that she was never wrong about her feelings, and it worried her.

* * *

By about mid afternoon Naruto had been practicing almost non-stop, and had even started to exercise the Kyuubi's chakra. 

'_Why are you doing this to yourself! You did nothing wrong!'_

'Because I have nothing better to do, and don't particularly want to see anyone at the moment.'

_'Why can't you just go home and rest! You need it badly…'_

'Because I don't feel like it.' He refused to speak of it afterwards. He continued to train, but you could tell that he was wearing down, for he wasn't as precise.

* * *

Neji had just gotten done with training, and was heading home. He had noticed that no one really cared where Naruto was, or even how he was doing. Everyone from the rookie nine and his team had not wanted to talk about it at all, and avoided the subject like the plague. They wouldn't even mention Naruto. It was like he never existed. He decided to go visit Naruto after resting a bit. 

He went into his house and directly went into the shower. As he let the spray of water come down over his tired muscles and let the tension slip away, his thoughts went back to the blue-eyed wonder. He let himself drift off into daydreaming…

_He watched as his hands ran over a tanned muscled chest and heard a deep moan come from the throat of the one he was feeling. As he leant closer, the blond took his lips in a searing kiss. As they're tongues tangled, Neji moaned in passion. He backed Naruto against the wall and started kissing down his chest…_

Neji jerked himself out of the daydream, and found he had a rather large problem he had to take care of. As he reached down and grabbed his erection to finish himself off, he continued to picture Naruto in his mind. Just as he imagined that Naruto was pleasuring him instead of himself using his own hand, he came with a small shout. Afterwards, he quickly cleaned himself off and got out of the shower. He dried himself off and wrapped the towel around his waist. He walked into his bedroom and grabbed his nicely cleaned black shorts and white shirt, slipping into them, and then lay across the bed in the corner. He drifted into a nice nap, and after an hour, woke up to go check on Naruto.

* * *

Naruto was lying on the ground, panting after using a particularly hard jutsu, when he heard a sound of fabric rustling. That was his only warning, for next thing he knew, he was surrounded by eight men dressed all in black. They seemed to be low-level Akatsuki members. _'Naru-chan! Run! You don't have enough strength left. You need to leave!'_

'And let them come into the village and kill many people? Not likely! I need to finish them here so they can't do anymore harm.'

'_Of course. I forgot. You would save the village at the cost of your life, even though they scorn you.'_ Kyuubi muttered sarcastically in the back of his mind.

'Yes. Lend me your strength, please, for I have to do this.'

_'Alright Kit. Just remember that I love you like my own kit, ok?'_

'Thanks. I love you, too… Mother.'

He felt the surge of power just as the men launched at him from all sides.

* * *

Neji knocked on his door several times, and then used his byakugan to check to see if he was there. Since he didn't see him inside, he searched the surrounding forest and saw a slight flicker of his signature chakra. He immediately raced off towards it. When he came upon the field where Naruto was, he stared in amazement. There were around six bodies lying dead on the ground all around the field. He noticed the Akatsuki cloaks, and then when he heard a grunt, he turned and saw the horror that had occurred. Naruto was a bloody mess and had kunai buried deeply in each shoulder, one close to his heart, another two in his stomach and a few in his legs. He was dealing with one last member, and as Neji watched, Naruto placed one hand to block the sword that the man was aiming at him, and placed his other at the man's temples. Neji saw the burst of chakra, and immediately turned on his byakugan to see what happened. The jolt of chakra quickly traveled throughout the man's chakra streams, and then proceeded to engulf the man's heart, and smothered it. This all happened in about a half a minute. Just in time so that Naruto's blocking hand got gouged, and then the man was dead. Naruto turned and looked at the field and then started to fall. Before he could hit the ground Neji had caught him up. He raced to the Hokage's tower with Naruto cradled in his arms.

* * *

The Hokage stiffened as she felt the Kyuubi's chakra, that always crackled in the back of her mind as a reminder, crackled once very faintly and then was completely snuffed out. Her chakra slammed open the window and she almost leapt out to find Naruto, until she saw the shape of a man cradling something coming up to her balcony. She quickly recognized Neji, but it took her a little longer to recognize Naruto. His face was ashen, and he hardly seemed to be breathing. 

"Lay him down on the bed over in the corner. Then go get Shizune and tell her she needed NOW and she should hurry!"

She stared down at Naruto's face once Neji laid him down. She then proceeded to place her hands over his heart and stomach. They lit up green as she tried to heal him, but she gasped and took a step back when she realized then was basically no charka or life left in him. She quickly stood closer and started channeling chakra into his blood stream. Shizune walked in, saw the situation, and proceeded to rush over and start to try to heal him with her hands. Neji stood close by and watched as the women moved in synchronization to try to get Naruto to live again. He stayed silent so that they could work with out distraction. Neji finally noticed that Jiraiya was standing in the corner when he raised his hand to beckon him out of the way. They stood close until around four hours later both women stopped simultaneously. Shizune sat down in a chair, while Jiraiya moved as quick as thought a caught Tsunade before she could fall from exhaustion. Jiraiya immediately put Tsunade and Shizune to sleep to regain their strength. He told Neji he could go home, but Neji brought a chair close to the bed, and sat holding Naruto's rough and clammy hand.


	5. What's happened, Naruto?

**_Hey! I'm back. I'm sorry it took this long, but I started school, and things have been hectic since then. Please tell me what you think! I'm sorry I had to end it like this, but I'll try to update soon. Love ya, Peeps :hugs:_**

**_baka-m3-l33t _**

**The Meaning of Loneliness Ch. 5**

Tsunade's eyelids fluttered open as she woke up and straightened in her chair. She stretched to work out the kinks in her muscles from sleeping in a chair all night, and then quickly looked toward Naruto. Naruto laid still in his bed, except for the rise and fall of his chest indicating his breathing was steady and restful. She sighed and relaxed, and then noticed there was someone else beside Naruto. Neji was resting his head on the side of the bed while cradling Naruto's hand in his. He was still asleep, and she didn't wish to wake him. She turned and noticed Jiraiya was watching her from the corner of the room, and went to go talk to him.

"How was Naruto's condition during the night?"

"Passable. He's not in the best of conditions, but he's a fighter. He'll fight to live and Kyuubi will back him up."

"Has the Hyuuga been here all night?"

"Yes. I think there's something to that, but I'll keep things to myself for the time being."

"Since I've rested all night, my chakra level is up again. I'm going to search through his recent memories and see if I can find out what made him do this to himself."

"Just be careful. If you feel the strain coming on, quit immediately!"

"Alright."

Tsunade pulled a chair over to Naruto's bed and sat down. She then leant over Naruto and placed her hand on his brow. It immediately started glowing green and it looked like Tsunade had gone into a comatose state. Neji woke when he felt chakra that close, and gazed in horror at the sight. He got up suddenly and was about to push away Tsunade when two arms clamed down on his torso and made him immobile.

"Don't. The Hokage is searching through his memories right now. Don't disturb her, for it isn't hurting Naruto."

Neji calmed after hearing this, and Jiraiya slowly let go of the Hyuuga. Neji then went over and held Naruto's hand again. He watched and waited through the examination.

.:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:. 

Tsunade was suddenly on the bridge at mid-day, watching Naruto eat his lunch in his normal, unmannered way. She glowered when Sakura started yelling at him for arguing with Sasuke. _Was this what his everyday life was like? Always being put down and ignored? Why didn't I notice and change things for him!_

Everything blurred and then she was in the same spot, but this day Naruto was more haggard than before. Sakura started in on him, and then mentioned the Demon. She stared in horror as the rest of practice continued and he was either ignored or sent scathing looks and replies. She'd about had enough when even Kakashi wouldn't teach him. She watched as he went home and was crushed by the comments thrown at him. She smile in a melancholy way when Neji called him, but then cried silently as he himself cried himself to sleep. She proceeded to watch him wake up and train himself hard the next day.

Then came the party. That was a total disaster, but she was happy the Hyuuga stood up for him. She watched with concerned eyes as he trained through the night and into the next day. She felt the presence of the other ninjas way before Naruto, but watched in horrific fascination as he proceeded to fight for his village and killed all eight men, before falling into Neji's arms. She had also noticed that Neji had seen how the last attack worked, and made a mental note to interrogate him as well. Since she knew from that part on, she was about to pull back, when she heard a small sound. The world blurred, and she was inside the room with the Kyuubi. The first thing she noticed was the way the Kyuubi was growling at her, and she seemed to be protecting something. When she looked down, she gasped as she saw Naruto curled in the fetal position crying out as he slept. Rivers of tears were running down his face unchecked. The Kyuubi curled her tail around Naruto and watched Tsunade closely as she stared at them.

"_**What are you doing here!" She growled.**_

"_Trying to help Naruto to have a better life."_

"_**And how are you going to do that? By making him relive everything you just saw? What have you done to improve anything!"**_

"_He relived it! That never happens! I'm just trying to find out what made him so close to death…"_

"_**As you already know, Naruto isn't like any other, and he has a lot more ability than you've ever had and ever will. Now leave before I lose my temper. Oh, and be sure to make his life better, for I don't want him hurt again like this."**_

_Tsunade stared solemnly at the Kyuubi. "I will. I don't want him to ever have to deal with that again." As she turned away, tears overflowed and ran down her face. The Kyuubi saw this and commented, **"You might wish to keep him away from those who hurt him, and keep him close to the ones whom hold him dear. Remember what you saw, and make decisions from there. Good luck, mortal."**_

.:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:. 

The next thing Tsunade knew, she was sitting in her chair, staring into Jiraiya's eyes. As soon as she saw him she came apart. She started to cry silently and said, "He's been through so much. Kami, if only I had known…" She pulled herself together and sat back. She sighed and turned to Neji. Before she could say anything he spoke.

"You wish to search my memories to piece together more information, don't you?"

"Actually, I just would like to talk. Why are you so nice to Naruto?"

"Because he brought me out of my hole and gave me something to believe in."

"And how did he do that?"

Neji stayed silent for a while, and then finally whispered, "He made me fall in love with him."

Tsunade smiled tiredly and relaxed slightly. But immediately tensed with his next question.

"Can chakra smother other chakra by reaching the heart?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I studied that final move Naruto made on the Akatsuki member, and he injected his chakra into the man and it sought his heart and smothered all energy and life in it."

Tsunade looked at Jiraiya in surprise, "That's not… Then could he be…"


End file.
